Weis' Contract Buyout Requires Too Much Gravy

Gravy is not an uncommon term for money, but imagine the surprise of the lawyers of the University of Notre Dame when they found out that Charlie Weis' coaching contract called for $10 million in actual gravy.

"We though he was just being funny," said Abe Steinberger, a representative of the university's lawyers, "you know, one of his 'New Jerseyisms. Turns out, he actually wanted gravy."

After Notre Dame football's disappointing 6-6 showing this season, the University seriously looked at options for letting Weis go. They came across this contract term when assessing the financial possiblities for a buyout of Weis' contract.

"Turns out he actually wanted gravy. Pork gravy, white gravy, red eye gravy, it doesn't matter. He wants $10 million of it," said Steinberger. "He's a clever guy. We have the money, but there's no way we can get all that gravy to him at once. You can be sure we won't let this one get past us again."

Weis was unavailable for comment.