Senior Graduates Without Ever Entering Library

Senior Andy Barnham was able to graduate the University of Notre Dame in December without once setting foot inside the library, a spokesman of the student said.

"He graduated in December with a respectable 3.2 GPA, and never once entered the Hesburgh Library," said the spokesman, "not to research, not to study, not to meet friends, not even to check out a book for leisure reading."

The Hesburgh Library proudly stands tall on campus with the Touchdown Jesus mural adorning its side. It is a campus landmark, among the locations which visitors first recognize and tour.

Said the spokesman, "It was just too far away for Mr. Barnham. Besides, the internet has everything you need."

It is speculated that Barnham did most of his research on Wikipedia.

Freshman Roommates Bond Over Shared Pet Ownership

It started out as most roommate relationships do: awkward. But it wasn't long until Lewis resident Tina McMullin asked her roommate, Megan Lampley, the question that broke the ice.

"'So do you have any pets?' is all it took," said Ms. McMullin, "from then on, I knew we would be inseperable."

Tina and Megan spent the next five hours relating stories about current pets, past pets, relative's pets, neighbor's pets, and pets of friends.

"Oh my God, I love pets," said Ms. Lampley. "I told Tina this one story about how my dog Sparky, he was this lab I had when I was like 6. Anyway, we took him to the lake. While my family went swimming, he took all our clothes and hid them in the woods. It was so bad."

Stories like this one were traded late into the night until a firm roommate relationship was guaranteed.

Said Ms. Lampley, "Oh my God, I love animals, and I love my pets. I just don't know what I would do without them. Oh my God. I'm just, like, so glad my roommate feels the same way. Oh my God."