23 November 2008
19 November 2008
Senior Stays Awake in Philosophy Class for the First Time All Semester
Brian Larson, a senior living off campus, stayed awake for an entire Philosophy class period for the first time this semester. The course, Hermeneutics and Literary Theory, has been able to put Mr. Larson to sleep within 10 minutes for the entire semester.
"I don't know what happened," Mr. Larson said, "I didn't even make a conscious effort to stay up. It just happened."
Mr. Larson was able to not only stay awake, but also contribute to the discussion on Wilhelm Dilthey's broadening of Hermeneutics. He was also able to make important corrections on his classmates' misconceptions of Heidegger's stance on the practice of Hermeneutics.
"Yeah, my classmates are a bunch of idiots," said Larson. "Maybe that's why I always fall asleep, to avoid the idiocy."
When asked how he felt about his experiece, Larson simply said, "Eh, I don't think I'll be doing it again any time soon."
"I don't know what happened," Mr. Larson said, "I didn't even make a conscious effort to stay up. It just happened."
Mr. Larson was able to not only stay awake, but also contribute to the discussion on Wilhelm Dilthey's broadening of Hermeneutics. He was also able to make important corrections on his classmates' misconceptions of Heidegger's stance on the practice of Hermeneutics.
"Yeah, my classmates are a bunch of idiots," said Larson. "Maybe that's why I always fall asleep, to avoid the idiocy."
When asked how he felt about his experiece, Larson simply said, "Eh, I don't think I'll be doing it again any time soon."
18 November 2008
Op-Ed: It's So Freaking Cold Outside by James McHugh
Dude, it's fucking freezing outside. Have you even been outside lately? Colder than a witch's titty in a brass brassiere. Damn.
They expect us to go to class in this shit. Woke up this morning and checked weather.com. It was 25 freaking degrees. I have to walk all the way to Flanner. Are you kidding me? I'll die, man. I have to walk across the wind tunnel that is South Quad, it's not even right.
And this snow, man. What the hell is lake effect snow? We're not even that near the lakes. Hell, Chicago is ON the lake and doesn't get as much snow. I call bullshit on the lake effect crap.
The worst part, the absolute worst part is that when the cold comes, I'll never see an attractive female for months, cause here comes the sweatpants and Uggs. Seriously, ladies, it's cold for everyone, do you see us guys trying to pull off the worst fashion combination since Flock of Seagulls haircuts and members only jackets? Didn't think so.
Oh well, only six more months of Winter. I hate this place.
They expect us to go to class in this shit. Woke up this morning and checked weather.com. It was 25 freaking degrees. I have to walk all the way to Flanner. Are you kidding me? I'll die, man. I have to walk across the wind tunnel that is South Quad, it's not even right.
And this snow, man. What the hell is lake effect snow? We're not even that near the lakes. Hell, Chicago is ON the lake and doesn't get as much snow. I call bullshit on the lake effect crap.
The worst part, the absolute worst part is that when the cold comes, I'll never see an attractive female for months, cause here comes the sweatpants and Uggs. Seriously, ladies, it's cold for everyone, do you see us guys trying to pull off the worst fashion combination since Flock of Seagulls haircuts and members only jackets? Didn't think so.
Oh well, only six more months of Winter. I hate this place.
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