It was a day he would never forget. The President of the United States was speaking at his college graduation. But not just any president, President Obama, the first African-American president, one of the great public speakers of our time. Unfortunately, Notre Dame alumnus Anthony Wilkins could not avoid falling asleep during President Obama's speech
"I've spent every waking hour writing letters in support, counter-protesting, arguing against people who wanted to ruin MY graduation, etc. that I was just dead tired by the time commencement rolled around," said Mr. Wilkins. "The last thing I heard was the Bookstore Basketball quip, and then I was out like a light until they called my name."
Obama's speech was, as usual, a memorable and well-reasoned one, honoring Notre Dame's President Emeritus Father Ted Hesburgh, promoting "fair-minded words" in the abortion debate, and supporting the University's stature as a leading moral, educational, and ethical institution in the world.
Said Mr. Wilkins, "Fucking sucks that I missed it."
13 May 2009
Students Returning Home Realize No One Cares About Notre Dame's Commencement
After living in the maelstrom of controversy surrounding Notre Dame's commencement, students returning home expected to be able to proudly fend off constant questions and hold their own in arguments both for and against President Obama's invitation to speak.
Yet, upon returning home, every Notre Dame student was struck with a harsh realization: no one in the real world cared.
"I had all my talking points lined up, prepared for anyone to ask me about what I thought," said Sandra Carrigan, a sophomore in Breen-Phillips. "But no one ever asked. It seemed like they didn't even know about it."
And they didn't. An informal poll conducted by The Domer has established that only 1 out of 20 non-Notre Dame students knew about Obama speaking at the university's commencement.
"Even after I brought it up, they didn't seem to care," said Ms. Carrigan. "But I argued with them about it anyway. I didn't want all my hard work to go to waste."
Yet, upon returning home, every Notre Dame student was struck with a harsh realization: no one in the real world cared.
"I had all my talking points lined up, prepared for anyone to ask me about what I thought," said Sandra Carrigan, a sophomore in Breen-Phillips. "But no one ever asked. It seemed like they didn't even know about it."
And they didn't. An informal poll conducted by The Domer has established that only 1 out of 20 non-Notre Dame students knew about Obama speaking at the university's commencement.
"Even after I brought it up, they didn't seem to care," said Ms. Carrigan. "But I argued with them about it anyway. I didn't want all my hard work to go to waste."
12 May 2009
'Abortion Plane' Completes Bombing Runs on Campus
The colloquially named "Abortion Plane" has just completed a series of bombing runs on the campus of Notre Dame in which it dropped hundreds of fetuses on the grounds below.
The plane, hired by radical anti-abortionist Randall Terry, had been circling campus for weeks trailing a banner picturing a fetus aborted at 10 weeks. From the ground, however, many said the banner resembled a picture of a delicious bowl of spaghetti.
"He was angered by all the mocking of his masterwork," said Ignacio Gimpi, a spokesman of Mr. Terry, "he wanted to do something they would never mistake for a bowl of spaghetti."
When asked how Mr. Terry was able to procure all of those fetuses, the spokesman had no comment.
The plane, hired by radical anti-abortionist Randall Terry, had been circling campus for weeks trailing a banner picturing a fetus aborted at 10 weeks. From the ground, however, many said the banner resembled a picture of a delicious bowl of spaghetti.
"He was angered by all the mocking of his masterwork," said Ignacio Gimpi, a spokesman of Mr. Terry, "he wanted to do something they would never mistake for a bowl of spaghetti."
When asked how Mr. Terry was able to procure all of those fetuses, the spokesman had no comment.
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