Fisher Roommates Struggle to Fit 30th Beer in Fridge

Fresh from a mid-afternoon beer run, the residents of a quad in Fisher Hall found themselves in a conundrum: fitting all 30 beers of the case in their fridge.

"Usually we have no problem with this," said Nick Mills, one of the roommates, "but Tyler won't get rid of his Port Wine cheese. Now we got one beer left out, and it's getting warm."

"I told them 'You better not throw that Port Wine cheese away, I'm savoring that shit'," said Tyler Manion. "I saw them eyeing the trash can. All for an f-ing Keystone."

The conflict only grew from there. Tyler positioned himself between his roommates and the fridge.

"I told them they better step away from the fridge because my cheese wasn't going anywhere," Tyler explained. "I don't care what they did with that can of shitty beer, they weren't touching my stuff."

"Don't know why he was being so tough," said Dan Perdue, another roommate, "but that's Tyler, always the T Guy."

Finally, Anthony Sosebee, the fourth roommate, awoken by the commotion, offered his solution.

"I just took the beer and pounded that sh-," he stated simply. "Then I went back to sleep 'fore I got real pissed off."