10 August 2008

Keenan Frosh Debate the Merits of Several Low-End Beers

They’re already calling it the Great Debate of 2008. Last night in the Keenan Hall second floor common room, several freshmen stayed up into the wee hours of the morning, snacking on slightly undercooked pizza from the Keenan Kitchen and arguing about which cheap beer reigns supreme.

Peoria native Christian Dorsey says he thinks the argument started when one freshman proclaimed that a cold Natural Light would “go great with this pepperoni and sausage ‘za, bros.” Several of his underage friends disagreed, stating that drinking Natty was comparable to imbibing the week-old urine of a rabid canine.

Second floor inhabitant Marquis Henderson recounts how the argument escalated: “I’m pretty sure it was my bro Teddy who said he’d take a Beast over a Natty any day. Then this sophomore from the third floor called us ‘stupid freshmen’ and said something about going up to his room to drink some Heinekens and watch COPS. He seemed like kind of a douche.”

After the brief interruption, the debate raged on for several more hours. Busch Light, Pabst Blue Ribbon, and Keystone were all brought into the mix. The freshmen were ultimately unable to reach a consensus.

No comments: